Dear me… 4 ish years ago

There are things I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me. “Kate… bitcoin. You have no idea what it is, how on earth it works, or even where it works, but somehow, some way, grab ahold of some nerd and make him/her teach you how to acquire it.” or “Kate.. in 2 years, you’ll want bangs. The hairdresser will advise against it. Listen to her. She’s smart.” y’know, normal stuff. When I was about to have Pickle, I was working at the church, a furbaby mama and a wife that thought our lives were “busy” (hahahahahhhhaaaahhahahahaha….) I remember sitting at my desk, daydreaming about our baby and wishing I could fast-forward past labor and have her in my arms. I remember being TERRIFIED of the unknowns of having a baby. Positive that I would be the one woman on the planet who somehow was unable to deliver a baby and she would just live in my womb until her thirties and then I would have the wisdom and strength to push her out (somehow in the mental psychoticness she was still an adorable little squishy newborn… not a gross slimy Will Ferrell sized grown-up). Like every other woman pregnant with my first baby, I had been on the receiving end of way too many horror stories of what was waiting for me at KGH. Drugs m’friends. Sweet sweet drugs. They were the answer and everything was golden. This is totally unrelated, but I still smirk to myself when I think about the midwife asking me what my “birth plan” was, and I responded “I plan to wing it… and drugs… I plan to have all the drugs” she than proceeded to describe natural pain-relief methods, to which I put said “tut tut tut… don’t need to know… drugs” (sidenote… I quickly realized midwifery care wasn’t a good fit for me and switched 🙂 not saying they are not fantastic at what they do). Anywho. If I could go back to that bright-eyed and rested Kate I would say a thing or two.

Dear me… 4(ish) years ago,

First of all. Be patient with the people trying to give advice and help. I know that you will think that you are the baby expert, and you would be right, you will be, the expert of your baby, because your baby needs you, just as you are. Other moms can’t help it though. Once you are a mom, you speak mom and talk mom and think mom. You are a walking momcylopedia. It’s just what happens. Your world use to revolve around yourself, now it revolves around your baby, and that’s okay, you are supposed to be enamored with that preciousness.

There is no such thing as “normal”. Pregnancy, delivery, parenting… the word “normal” is so vague. It’s so different for everyone, there are so many factors that are going to determine the choices that you make for you and your family and to compare yourself to a book or to someone else is going to feel like you don’t measure up, or you’ll judge people around you and think your way is the only way.

You will be a wonderful mom. Sure, you’ll make mistakes along the way. Somehow, even now, mom of three children ages three and under… I leave the house without a change of clothes for said children and FORGET BUM WIPES!?? What the heck is wrong with me??? Oh right… I HAVE THREE BABIES THREE AND UNDER! I’ll be honest, there are days I’m baking cookies while painting a dresser and singing Moana to my children’s delighted ears. There are other days where I don’t wear a bra from sun up to sun down and I bark orders at everyone like Chef Ramsay – s’all good. When I was about to leave the hospital with Pickle, I just starred with at the nurse with a dear in the headlights look as she checked our carseat, I then proceeded to ask where the screening room was… “S’cuse me… could you point me to the room where they interview me and make sure I’m a fit parent? Also, where can I sign up for the “how to Mom” class and when do I get my license in Newborning?”  – there’s no training program… trust your gut and roll with it. You will be a wonderful mom. An epic mom. The best dang mom that that little baby have ever seen. You’ll be their hero, and enjoy it. Wear your mom cape and stretchy pants with pride, these days go by faster than fast. That Pickle is in school BOGGLES MY MIND. I’m trying to figure out what the crap just happened and realizing everyone was right… you blink.

Finally I would say, don’t try to get back to feeling like yourself again. You won’t. You will.. but you won’t. I remember obsessing over getting back into my pre-pregnant jeans. I would work out. Watch what I eat. Jump on the scale religiously and then stare in the mirror at my stretched out belly and my straggly frizzy hair and think “what has happened to me”- give yourself some grace, a friend said to me “9 months in and 9 months off” as in give yourself as much time to recover as you did to make a baby! Relax and enjoy your newborn, your body will go back-ish to the way it was, but don’t focus on that, focus on enjoying the moments and know that your post-baby body is beautiful, it bears the marks of a journey you’ve been on to not only make and deliver a baby, but also you’ve been transformed from the inside out, you’ll never feel like your pre-baby self again because you are a mom now, your whole worldview has changed and you can’t undo that – you love another human in a way you didn’t know possible and you feel the whole range of emotions in those 8 short weeks post-baby like nothing else. Embrace the season you are in and don’t fight to get back to who you were and the way you looked. You’re perfect(ish).

Be blessed.

Love,

Kate

What the crap just happened?!?

Today shall go down as “the day that must not be named”.. the day that I will forever think of and do one of my deer in the headlights – ‘don’t even… don’t you even…’ looks if people try to talk about it.. it. was. just. THEE. WORST!

Picture this.. you wake up… to the sound of your playful cooing 8 – month old at 6:55 A.M. the same cooing infant who also woke up at 12AM, 3AM and OH yes people… 5AM… that, sweet darling child. You try your best to snuggle her back to sleep, but she’s ready to party and is now attempting to wake up the other two sleeping sweetiecakes with vocal warm-ups. At this point I pulled my frazzled face off the stack of pillows in our nursery, that we have yet to set up. She’s 8 months old and we still haven’t gotten a chance to put away the double guest bed and set up her crib (which I’ve lost every bolt for..) third baby problems people.. Anyways. I pick my half-asleep self up off the half-made bed which oddly has a pile of broken fishy crackers at the bottom of it (don’t ask. I honestly am just as puzzled by this oddity as you are.) and tell myself if I can just make it to the cold leftover coffee in the frenchpress from when my husband got up at 5… I will be okay.. I also know if I stay in bed longer that all 3 of them will wake up and I won’t get an ounce of caffeine into my sleep-deprived body until I miraculous unearth the mystery of what each, very individualistic and particular child’s whims of the day are. I will be like a little mom-slave, trapped in some psychotic Goldie Locks prison… “It’s too hot MOMMY… it’s too COLD… I want the pink spoon! I want NOOOOOOODLES!” anyway… the flash of that scene playing in my bed and the coos of the sweet youngest snickerdoodle, helped me to drag my sorry butt out of bed.

Down to the kitchen to get my blessed coffee… I open the fridge…

No milk.

No coffee cream.

the sound of all of my dreams being dashed to the floor like food that I realize is still having some kind of after party… from the night before, all up in my kitchen.

The realization that our kitchen sink is not hooked up hits me like a wave. It’s too much. I pour the bit of coffee I can. Attempt to put down the sweet little petunia, realize she’s basically glued herself to my side and chug my coffee cowboy style. I’m not gonna let an empty fridge and 2 sinks now being out of commission (again.. don’t ask.) get me down… I’m a mom! I begin cleaning, make plans to go for a walk with a friend and get my bearings.

Get the girls up… get them dress… alls pretty smooth.. go for a walk… go to the grocery store, alls good… come home… alls good… make lunch… not too bad, they eat like 3 french fries and start throwing the rest on the floor. I can deal…

Attempt naptime…

THERMO-NUCLEAR MELTDOWN commences.

Now… up until recently, I was able to get my middlest and littlest to nap. The oldest.. she gave up napping right before or after 2.. can’t really remember. Then a few weeks happened that my oldest and littlest would skip nap and grin at me the whole time like they’d mastermind it together.. this week the two oldest are… you guessed it… giving naptime the ol’ stanky boot. I was doing pretty okay, they were clawing at each other, trying to bite chunks out of one another… I was managing it.. then.. my youngest woke up. Things got a bit crazier and I built the girls a fort in an attempt to contain some of the over-tiredness that was beginning to take over… in the middle of all this, my cellphone died… When I finally got the stupid charger to work, it was around 5 and I figured I would get a message from Mr. Burley saying he was catching his bus home.. instead I had a voicemail from him..

working. until. 9.

At this point, my little mom heart collapsed in on itself like a dying star. My dreams of him installing the kitchen sink and me doing dishes, went down the drain. I don’t know what it is. The construction life. It gets to you. It rained today and I had this little glimmer of hope, maybe my husband will come home early!? Maybe we can get our sink fixed!! Maybe I can do dishes!!? Instead, the worst nightmare of almost any tradesmans wife/stay at home mom… working late. It’s like you have just enough patience and grace for that moment when daddy gets through the door and you have 5 blessed moments without refereeing a fight or trying to figure out what on earth is in the babies mouth.. when you run into overtime though, you just start making crazy calls. It was in the height of said exhaustion and burn-out that I said.. “MOMMY! YOU HAVE GOT. TO. START. LISTENING. TO… PICKLE!” I obviously meant it the other way around. She thought it was hilarious and it just added more fuel to the crazy wildfire that seemed to burn down my ability to keep my crap together. I managed to miss that the 2 girls had coated my entire bathroom with bronzer (my expensive bronzer… the one that I bought like 5 years ago… pre-kids.. when I use to spend money on stuff like expensive bronzer.. instead of diapers… that bronzer) – then in my attempt to contained the mess I barred the bathroom which gave Pea the idea that peeing on the kitchen floor was acceptable (I would go on to later step in said pile of pee and take a good 10 minutes to remember what the mystery spill was) I also used a pan to warm up Pickles milk and spilt half of it all oven my stovetop (it just happens that every last dish is dirty and the girls managed to lock the impossible to unlock upstairs bathroom door where my dishsoap and a working sink are..)

Sweet baby Jesus.

Anyways, they were loving every minute, laughing their overtired, delirious heads off. It was like the more overwhelmed I got and the more chaotic everything became, the more they fed off it. Toys all over… Mommies gone wild!

So what is my point?… I don’t know truthfully.. were getting there. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what the crap happened tonight.

I felt like I blew it. Like if there was a good version of a mom, she’d be all patient.. see things as “teachable moments” and talk softly to the sweet angels who were sweet tender sheep just needing a tender sheep..ist(??) sure… sheepist. That’s a thing right? And then she would show those sweet children a photo of me, hair all wild… bronzer painted across her forehead like some manic tribal markings and yogurt handprints all over the clothes she’s been wearing for 2 days now.. and say.. “see children.. some people in the world have mommies like this” and then they would nod, thier petrified little obedients heads and hug their dear, sweet, organized mother and sweetly say “we love you mommy… you’re the greatest.” as they tenderly and voluntarily began walking up to bed and saying “Goodnight mother”… “go have some tea and eat that pie that’s been sitting in the fridge since you threatened daddy to bring it home from work or else deal with the conviction of the Holy Spirit for the rest of his days..”

Barf.

Anyways… I felt like I blew it tonight. Like I couldn’t handle a night on my own and I just let everything go to crap while I felt sorry for myself (still feel sorry for myself?? maybe a little… if I’m honest??) and just … yelled up at Jesus saying “are you seeing this!??!!”..”HELP!???”

Okay. So here it is.. the lesson?? I guess? My husband works hard. Like REALLY… hard. I thought I could whopp his butt with my stepcounter.. he walks 25,000 steps… daily. He hauls concrete, works in the HOT, hot sun and then takes a bus home, tonight the girls were in bed, but normally to 3 babies, all clamouring for his arms and his ear. And honestly? I can’t even count on 1 hand the times he’s complained about all of that. He just keeps going. He has this drive inside him that can only come from The Lord. He takes care of us constantly. Makes sure we have what we need and does it with joy. Yes, today was hard. Really hard. BUT… honestly, I have so much to be thankful for. This man loves me. Loves us. Loves The Lord with a depth that I want. He constantly sees the best in people and is constantly demanded of a lot at work because he is counted on and known to be a hard worker and a kind man. How incredible.

There are women who are doing this mom-life solo. I cannot even imagine. They don’t have daily reinforcements. I have friends whose husbands need to go away for work. They are on their own for long stretches. I blew it today because I was focused on what i was lacking rather than what I have. SO MUCH. God didn’t answer me when I was yelling up at my second-floor ceiling. I wouldn’t have heard Him. There was too much of me and my voice was louder than His could have ever been in that moment. It’s in the quietness that God speaks to me. This season, with my girls being so small and yet so busy and demanding has led me to put my business on hold for a season (still finishing up work for 2 clients) as I give them my focus and attention. They are so little and while it is all consuming right now, I know I will blink and the days of the 2-year-old tantrums will be behind me and my little Petunia will be walking the opposite direction rather than clinging to me. These are precious and fragile years. It can feel like you’re blowing it one moment and on top of the world the next. It really is a ride. Somedays I have it all figured out. Other days, like today, I am spending the end of the day on my couch, box of timbits in hand, not even knowing where to begin as a look around the chaotic mess that is my home. That’s honest and real-life. It isn’t always perfect.

I do find it hard to not have the time with The Lord I want, to crash in my bed rather than on my knees after what feels like a never-ending list of tasks and chores have absorbed another evening. I know that the sinks will get fixed, the dishes caught up and the laundry put away… but what will matter? None of that, but how I treat my children, honor my husband and see that Jesus is just as much involved in the macaroni-milk-spill covered floor as He was in the season when I could spend hours in prayer. The Lord gently leads those with young children because He see’s it. ALL of it. I am needing Him more now that at any other season in my life. I think the lie that can consume overtired and stretched moms.. is that you somehow are not spiritual or Holy enough to be with Him. To call out to Him.. Like you have to earn and deserve His ear. That’s a lie. He is as close as the mention of His name, wanting to draw near as you call on Him. Religion will tell you that you have to be perfect or at least be striving towards it.. to have that closeness, it’s a lie. He longs to be in the middle of our mess with us. He’s so good. He’s given me the exact man that I needed for me. I’m so thankful. My husband is a strong man. He can take my meltdown days and my mountain-top days the exact same, calm and consistent way. In all of my life, I will never know why he puts up with me, but isn’t that what love is?

I’m thankful for the crap days. They remind me of how flawed and weak I am and put Jesus back where He belongs, as Lord of my life. Humbling but real.

Be bless and if you made it to the end of this post… you just read 1958 words. Congrats.

Love,

Kate

 

and then there were 5…

Our littlest bundle has arrived, and she is perfection! We are 6.5 weeks into having little Ms. Petunia in our life and its already impossible to imagine our lives before her. The transition from 2-3 thus far has been 1,000,000 times better than the transition from 1 to 2. I think it helps that our middlest and our littlest have 20 months between them so we were able to talk through a lot more this time around. It also helped that we had family around to show extra attention to our oldest girls while we got to know this sweet girl and get the handle of life with #3under3.

Meeting my mom on Facetime (thank you technology!)

My parents (they live in Alberta) flew in and stayed for 4 beautiful weeks. It’s funny, as my children grow, much quicker than I ever anticipated possible, I realize how fragile life is. We truly are a wisp. I get to see my parents in the flesh about once every 1.5 years or so. I’ll be honest, its tough. As I sat in the airport waiting for my parents to board their departure flight home, I suddenly felt as though I was staring down the tunnel of time, somehow 5 years old, 15, 25 and 85 all at the same time. I felt a wave of thankfulness, sorrow and desperation as I wished that time could stop. Yet, time marches on relentlessly. There is, though I look for it constantly, no pause button. If you live within driving distance of your parents and brothers and sisters, you’re blessed. I am thankful that one of my sisters is within a 2 minute drive of my house, there is just nothing like a sister, especially as you navigate life as a mom and they’ve done it all and seen it all before you.

It’s in these moments, as I long for what was and am overjoyed at what is and wonder what will be, that I remember, this is not our home, we are here in the waiting room of now, waiting for our eternity. It’s in the times that I am homesick for my parents and siblings that I am thankful for the friends we have in our lives now. I’m thankful for the surprising ways God shows up in the darkest moments and brings the reminder of the temporal and the value on the eternal. It’s easy to be consumed with what you don’t have and forget to focus on what you do have. So now, in these weeks as we adjust to life as a family of 5, just the 5 of us plus our pup, that I am thanking God for our beautiful girls, the moments we have with them, the memories we are making as a family and the joy that they bring us.

Life is short. Enjoy it.

Love,

Kate

Today my little Pea had her 1-year needles. I hate these appointments. I understand that it is a necessity, but seeing those giant tears in your babies eyes is enough to make any mommy ugly-cry. And ugly-cry I did. Its hard to believe that we now have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I realize daily, that time, as life has become busier, has turned into water, slipping though my hands. I see now how my own mom must feel, me, grown up, halfway across the country and only yesterday I was halfway down the hall and sleeping with my adorable little pa-tooty up in the air in my crib. My own little monkeys are now… you guessed it… napping. I am finding some quiet time to sit back and access my 2016 thus far and you are honestly, reading my thoughts as they come. Some blogs, I write in my head as I am going about my day, most of the time, in the chaos that is my life at present, these blogs never make it to you. Probably for the best, though I think you’ve missed some hilarity along the way, this season of my life has been a brand new for me. Lonely, yet never alone all at the same time. I have been missing my family out west more than I can even explain to people around me. I miss my older sister and her ability to not only read my mind, but be coincidently wearing the exact same outfit as me at that exact moment. My mom and dad and the days when I was simply “the youngest”. Life just seems so fragile these days. Call it getting older. I think it’s the awareness of how we truly are a whisp, and then gone. I am asking myself lately, what impact will I have left in the end? In this season, I am 100% consumed with all things age 2 and under related. Rare moments go by that I don’t have Dora, Bubble Guppies or Baby Einstein competing for my thoughts. I can rattle off my ABC’s with a country twang or a bluesy beat like you don’t even know. Last week I went on a road trip with my neighbour and had to really work at not being “mommy” for 5 whole hours. I contemplating asking her to slap me every time I made a reference to my child’s poop or latest reinvention of the use of toilet paper, I quickly stopped myself, realizing I would have 2 black eyes within 30 minutes of that request. I am just in the “mommy-zone” and somehow have forgotten that youthful and exuberant 20-something I was not all that long ago. But… you know something? I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, it is all consuming now. But, this is a season. And, as I am sure the last 2 years have indicated, the next 2 will fly by even faster. I will one day look into the eyes of a 20-something Pickle and Pea and long for these chaotic and beautiful days. I will miss the natural way we a “nuggle” can heal any ailment. I will long for yogurt-styled hair that means bath time and story time will follow. I am far from a perfect-mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend .. but I am finding my way. Sometimes the day to day can have you so focused on the here and now, that you forget about the bigger picture. The important things in life. When I started this blog, my husband and I were big into budgeting and getting debt-free. Yes, that is still a priority for us and one that I believe will lead to greater freedom in the future, but that cannot be our focus. Our girls are growing so quickly that being so focused on the financial freedom we hope for in the future robs us of the joy of the here and now. We booked a family vacation (a cheap cottage rental that we paid cash for) after realizing a trip South was not in our budget, but that time together is a worth-while investment into our memories as a family. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. None of us do. But I want to focus on the good and the blessings that we have. The loneliness of this season has been a blessing. I have leaned into Christ in a way that I just didn’t need to when I was surrounded by family, friends and ministry opportunities. I have learned and am learning my identity in Christ outside of the noise of a busy-life. We have not arrived. But slowly, as a family, we are taking-time back and not regretting tomorrow the memories we didn’t have time to make today.

random-rambling now complete.

Love,

Kate

p.s. I’ve missed you my bloggy-friends

And then there were 4…

Hi ya’ll! Its been too long. A lot has happened between my last post in which I forgot I was preggers and now, where I forget what it was like to be preggers and legit could see myself going through the whole 9 month ordeal again to have another cute little button at the end of it all! Which brings me to my next point…

SHE’S HERE!! Our little Pea has arrived and she is so so so so so so so so SO cute! At this very moment both girls are asleep. Two babies under two is an adventure, to be sure, and tandem nap times are as rare as a Snow Leopard sighting, which, explains why it has taken me nearly 4 months to announce the arrival of our new little girl. Here are my two shnugalugs in the first couple of days as sisters:

And here I am in the hospital, look’n all peaceful…

Here’s the reality.. that serene look on my face? Its a hoax.. I had been barfing and in bed the day before little Pea came and that paused long enough for me to have the little monkey, and we just made it too the delivery room in time, this one came FAST! I wanted a cookie so I was in the line-up at Tim Hortons with contractions 2.5 minutes apart. I only got to eat half that cookie.. sigh.. life can be so full of turmoil.. and then BAM! she was here! And beautiful. Then, a few hours after delivery, I began throwing up… out my butt. Yup. Not pretty people. That look on my face? It’s the same one I presented to nurses and doctors to hide how flu-strick’n I was so I could get home to my little Pickle, whom at this time was 15 months of pure energy and whom I was homesick for. So I managed to sneak out under the radar and boy! Did I learn my lesson to NEVER… EVER!!… EVER do that again. In hindsight, which is always 20/20, it was stupid. I should have stayed, gotten rehydrated and left healthy and ready to take on my toddler and my newborn as my best and healthy self. Within hours of being home I was an emotional, sick, dehydrated mess. I had to call a friend to come hold the baby while Mr. Burley chased after a now hyper Pickle while I tried to keep anything in my wrung out body.

It took a solid month before I was fully healthy again and in that time, yes, I was still running my business and managing my minis from the couch/bed. Times like these I wish my mom lived less then a 48 hour drive away. Times like these, I wish we were dripping in diamonds and could afford for Mr. B to take a few weeks off of work.

The first 2 weeks home, I think I cried, ev-er-y-day. Not kidding. I felt sorry for myself in a terrible way and angry that I couldn’t get over the hurt of feeling so on my own. It was a roller coaster m’friends. One I truly wouldn’t wish on anyone. On the outward, I probably looked pretty together. On the inside I was struggling with the guilt of having to divide my time between 2-very little and very needy babies. Nearly 4 months out though, things look a whole lot different. These girls love each other. As Pea is interacting more and as Pickle is beginning to show more of her nurturing side, we have found a balance. The business doesn’t feel as much like a mountain and the house, though not pristine, is much more manageable.

Our culture is totally obsessed with perfection, with one baby, she was the centre of our universe. That’s normal in our culture. I was striving with one baby in a way that I cannot with two. Two babies seems to have balanced us out somehow. Pickle is able to play on her own, yes, she absolutely sees opportunity when I am feeding Pea to get into mischief, but these are “teachable” (for lack of a none momenease word) moments where I can help teach her in the areas of the fruit of the Spirit: “Love, Joy, Peace, PATIENCE, Gentleness, Kindness, Faith and Self-Control are words used often around here. Realizing that life, is messy and not perfect is freeing. Just the other day, I walked around church with barf all over my shirt.. pretty sure I got it on the communal tithing debit machine too.. bah well. These little precious gifts have stripped me of any time/energy to put on a facade. What you see is what you get. To that photo of myself in the hospital bed I say, get real! Be honest, ask for help. You don’t have to have it all together and you can trust God that Pickle is going to be okay without you supervising her every moment and emotion. Was she jealous when I brought Pea home from the hospital? Yes, of course she was. Will working through those feelings help her to become a better person? Yes. I am already seeing the fruit of it. Two babies under 2 is challenging, but not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I love my little family. I wouldn’t change one thing, except, that I would have asked for help instead of pretending to be okay and would have been honest with the doctors and dramatically shortened my recovery time by getting healthy before coming home to the beautiful, absolute chaos that is life with minis.

Thanks for reading!

-Kate

I forgot I was Pregnant..

I forgot I was pregnant…

Well.. not actually. I’m being sarcastic. But Holy Macaroni! My due date is tomorrow, Valentines Day.. I know, I know.. “awww… so cute! A valentines baby!” except that the little munchkin would forever think her parents were jerks if we went out on V-Day dates.. although it would give us a reason to postpone Valentines day fluff too the 15th and get discounted chocolate and no competition on restaurants… BRB gonna go do some belly dancing while eating jalapeños and drinking castor oil.

So here we are. Full term. No sign of this monkey coming out any time soon. And our house is upside down in renovations. It started with an 8PM decision to repaint our living room last week. That had to be done. Call it nesting, call it hormones. If you had to look at that pumpkin/burnt cinnamon colour for as long as I have, you would have snapped too. And snapped I did. I was sitting on the couch, all calm and collected (Lies.. I’m never calm or collected) staring at the colour on the wall. Trying to imagine what the previous home owner was thinking when they painted every inch of our main floor and basement this hideous colour, when out of no where.. like a tightly wound piece of string.. I snapped. I grabbed the two cans of paint I had gotten as my birthday gift in June (you know you’re a homeowner when…) started shaking them like crazy (I had chosen the paint colour a week prior. Don’t worry paint-pro readers I realize the pigments would have begun to separate at this point) and set to work touching up our crown moulding and repainting our living room.. at 8…o’clock… at night. When the baby sleeps.. I work. We didn’t get to bed until 3:30AM that night. Mr Burley heard my wrath when he decided to fix our leaky faucet he had broken off at the same time as the paint monstrosity was going on (I’m sure our roomie heard it too.. poor girl).

My first attempt at “mudding” a hole in our kitchen ceiling from the time I overflowed our Ensuite Bathtub in an attempt to see if I could submerge my entire preggo belly… I couldn’t

More of my mudding handiwork

The “after” Grey Owl by Benjamin Moore

The hallway.. look at my lazy dog!

Goodbye Teal! Hello soft.. antique pink. Its perfect

The nursery from the hallway.. forgive the construction zone look of this photo.. not staged at all. Candid life around here folks!

Mr. Burley and his amazing handiwork! Perfect cuts. We used crown moulding we rescued from a demo job Mr. B worked. It’s solid oak and beautiful. The panelling was $15 at Home Depot on clearance, it was ugly before we repainted it

A zoomed out look at the progress of the laundry room overhaul.. the countertop is in process! Its an awesome rustic Pine – barn board look

Miraculously we went to bed with a clean house and peace. The peace was mostly because I realized how insane I was being and muttered “I’m sorry sweetie” through tight.. stubborn lips. I’m pretty sure Mr. Burley said it first too. That man deserves an award. Its a good thing I’m cute. Anyhow, with Pickle running around, we really can’t leave anything out. She is after all, of the same genetic background as part of me, she gets herself in all sorts of predicaments. Just this week, she got her head stuck in the safety gate we have blocking her from the stairs. She would have been out a lot faster if I could have stopped laughing sooner. It was so funny. Babies are awesome.

So there we were, newly painted living room, when we had an offer to be blessed/rescued from our paint mayhem by a professional painter. So, our main floor has been saved from the burnt cinnamon and is now a lovely “Grey Owl” by Benjamin Moore. He also painted our nursery, which up until this week was our Spare Oom (You’ve ruined me Narnia). We went with “Pink Orchid” also a Benjamin Moore colour. It was yesterday, as I stood in the newly painted nursery, having come home from my 40 week prenatal appointment that it sunk in.. Our family is growing by one more person. SOON! All the busyness of running a business and the renos around the house (Painting, Laundry Room overhaul, new windows, new roof) have kept me from really taking a moment to wrap my head around a second baby. It’s nice to have this time to prepare, mentally and emotionally for the upcoming event. I’m also super stoked about the drugs associated with labor and delivery. I felt like Iron Man last time around. It. Was. Awesome. Anyways. I will keep you posted on when little Sweet Pea comes and in the meantime. Don’t judge me. I’m sure we’ve all had our share of middle of the night renovations.. right?? Whose with me.

Someday I will look back on the transparency of these posts and wonder how on earth I have any friends.

Love,

Kate

I fed the baby poop

“I fed the baby poop”… to which Mr. Burley responds with almost no alarm “that’s nice sweetie”.. that’s the trouble with being a sarcastic cotton headed ninny muggins.. nobody believes you (FYI I did not actually feed the baby poop… as you can see in the photo I was having fun with alphageties(?) so mature, I know)

Here’s the fun of the baby-led weaning approaching to weaning your child.. its messy… like… REAL messy, as you can see in the following photo:

Moments like these I’m thankful for 2 things.. 1. that we have a dog who lives under Pickles highchair while she eats. 2. that ikea makes THE MOST wipe able high chair ever.

My sister-in-law introduced me to the idea of baby led weaning.. essentially you start out with big chunks of food that are not to small and not to big (so vague.. I know) and you skip baby purees. She had me had not buying baby food. If there’s one thing I hate, its the greed of the baby supply industry. They know we need this stuff, so here, have a can of formula for $98.00 and don’t mind this lien against your home.. that’s just standard stuff.

Yeesh.

Pickle has done fantastically with baby-led weaning, yep, we had some scary moments along the way, but it helps to be confident with your choice of feeding your baby. Only problem is, feeding Codie has become a favourite game.

Oh dear, good thing these floors are temporary 🙂

MOMWAGON!!

I got a MINIVAN!!

Sweet bliss! It’s so wonderful! I got it to use with the biz-nass and its made my life feel a wee bit more complete. Roll’n out my driveway I’m like a rockstar with Pickle watching her Baby Einstein on the DVD screen strapped to the back of my seat and my make-up bag on the floor beside me ready for the red lights when I apply mascara and eyeliner (unless of course there are no lights.. then I spend the day haggard and ugly). It’s awesome. Mr. Burley has been surprisingly supportive of this move to oversized vehicle ownership. For a guy who drove a red sports car when I first met him, he sure does pull off the minivan look. He makes it look (almost) as cool as I do. Times sure have changed for us. Since becoming parents we have shifted our priorities BIG TIME and our driveway could be a story of those changes. From the removal of the safety hazardous work car that had to coast to a stop because the breaks were going, we got the super practical mazda. Next, the Mustang was swapped out for the mom-wagon. To any single-tons reading this.. I can hear you now “oh.. that will NEVER happen to me”.. until you find yourself, with a 1 year old and the next schedule to arrive in 10 short weeks, drooling over another mom effortlessly lifting her happy infant from a minivan equipped with a dual sliding doors for easy child removal and a DVD player for an extra 5 minutes on the driveway while you eat your bagel without worrying about said infant eating her own poop, that you know its time to upgrade your ride.

The size of strollers and all the equipment babies require is enough to send you over the compact vehicle edge. Forget being environmental and fuel efficient. I want to be able to go for a walk from the back of my car to the front. I want to be have to yell because the people in the back row are so far away I can’t hear/see them. It’s wonderful. This minivan has changed me. I’m a new woman. I drive the speed limit. I drive slower and cackle a little when people ride my bumper (take that!). I’m considering actually installing that “baby on board” sticker that I thought I would never be caught dead applying to my ride. I say things like “watch your tude” and “make right choices” and sound natural doing so…

The times.. they are a change’n and I’m changing too. Just ask Mr. Burley.. whom just today described me (“but not me.. you know what I mean hun?”) as “pleasantly plump” and “cozy”. Yes sweetie… I know I’m like the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. I have become a human body pillow. Pregnancy. How sweet you are. My love handles have become the family napping couch.

If you need me.

I’ll be in the van.

Love,

Kate

5 Ways Pregnancy 2 is Different

Its the middle of November. I’m wide awake and its nearly 2AM. Why you ask? I’ve turned into the opposite of the abominable snowman.. I’m the sauna man… er … woman. Holy hannigan! Hook up some duct work to my heat conducting self and lets cut our heating costs around here! This pregnancy has been insane for being a sweaty mess of deliciousness. I’m so hot! Not the good kind either. I’m the sweat-curled hair at the back of the neck kind of hot. Not pretty. Which leads me to what I’ve been pondering these past fews days.. which is my list of ways pregnancy numero 2 is nothing like my first kick at the can. (or rather.. the fetuses kick at my innards.)

Here goes..

1. WAAAAAAAAY less time online shopping for a bunch of baby crap you don’t need.

Turns out babies are pretty low key the first 3 months or so. I didn’t leave the house with Pickle.. ever. It was in these first few months that I stared at all the emotional purchases I had made and thought “what have I done!” I could have funded her first few years of college with all the cute outfits I never changed her from her PJ’s into.

2. Slow down there baby… I don’t think 9 months is enough time!

This time around, its like I rode a rocket ship into week… 27?? 26?? its going by FAST, like super sonic, can’t believe I’m gonna have a newborn around in a few months.. fast. With Pickle I would just lay there thinking about her and feeling like it would take FOR-EVER to meet her. This next little pea is like a pea being shot out of a straw. Its insane.

3. STOP SENDING ME WEEK BY WEEK UPDATES ABOUT MY VEGETABLE BABY… GAH!!

The first time around, I was so excited when I got my week to week update emails… “your baby is as big as a dove whisper..” what the crap does that even mean??! Someone asked how far along I was, I knew. Ask me today and I will not only have no idea how many weeks I am… I will be hard pressed to remember how old I am.. or my address… or my first name. Its sad people but having an active little munchkin means only so much info can fit in my brain. Every now and then I google “how many weeks am I if I’m due…” and then I feel like a complete person again. Not really. But, it makes me feel like I can have a rough guesstimate the next time I’m asked.

4. Glow?? No.. that’s gas.

It’s as though I threw out any filters I had left in my life the day I spread eagle in front of 10..ish people (Mr. Burley says there were like 50 people in the room when I was pushing out Pickle.. I think he’s over exaggerating because he was uncomfortable with how many people were seeing my Netherlands..) Now I catch myself talking about THE MOST inappropriate things at THE MOST inappropriate times. Like, for instance, during my business course, me and a couple of the other parents in the room would talk about poop and gas like we were talking about our favourite sports teams. It was weird yet somehow so normal. The first time around I was still somewhat sane. This time around and after watching the same episode of Baby freak’n Einstein for the billionth time.. I’ve lost a wee bit of my ability to communicate on a rationale level. And.. if I hear.. “You need to get out more” one more time!!! Somebody gonna get hurt real bad. Unless you’re offering to babysit whilst I frolic through a field of flowers and sanity.. just don’t.

5. My baby will NEVER watch TV.

Okay. this ones’ bad. I know some real awesome parents who are so so good at entertaining their babies all day, keeping the house clean and somehow, magically applying mascara more then once a month. I’m not one of them. I’m a pretty good mom, but when I was pregnant with Pickle, man oh man, was I stupid. I thought she would sit quietly and play while I folded laundry in a perfectly pressed polk-a-dot dress with my hair all did and supper in the oven. Boy.. was I wrong! She’s like me in so many ways. The biggest being, she CANNOT sit still. Not for a minute. Not for a second. Save your comments. I don’t want to hear it. Its just who she is. She wants to see, touch, feel, eat, smell, squish, lick… EVERYTHING! So.. while I did think I would be able to avoid “ever letting her see a screen before the age of 2”.. I was so mistaken. I do, occasionally (once a day) pull out the annoying baby shows, sit her in her exersaucer or her highchair with some Cheerios, and let her watch Baby Einstein. Or Skype my mom and let her nanny cam that baby while I unload the dishwasher, sweep yesterdays food off the floor and wipe the eyeliner from three days prior from under my eyes.

There you have it folks… initially this post was entitled “10 ways pregnancy 2 is different…” and then I got bored/tired/couldn’t think anymore and so I changed it. Deal with it.

Love,

Kate

My Favourite 4 Letter Word

This post is brought to you by the letter “F”, my favourite four letter word is of course… FREE! This month in Kingston Ontario it is “Kingston Gets Active” month. One thing Mr. Burley and I have loved doing over the summer is having our adventure bag ready at all times and looking for fun and free things to do. There are always lots of great thing going on in our beloved city of Kingston. There is a great community feel around here. Lots for kids, lots for families, lots for all ages really. 

So, imagine my surprise and delight when I came across this list of free activities being offered in and around Kingston for the month of September! You can try everything from fencing to zumba for free! Check out the list and get out there with your fam jam! 

You may just run into me, Pickle and Mr. Burley! 

I know I know, I’m awesome and your welcome. 

Love, 

Kate